This weekend I did worship for a Disciple Now in Red Oak, TX. Red Oak is a quasi-country suburb of Dallas, found just south of my native DeSoto. I used to frequent a guitar store in Red Oak. In fact, I got my first guitar there. The guy who owns the place knows more about acoustic guitars than anybody I know. If I ever get another guitar, chances are, I’ll probably take it down to him to have it tweaked.

I had a couple of large breaks in my schedule for the D-Now, so I was able to spend some time going down “memory lane” in DeSoto. I’ve lived in several places in my childhood, but considering that I lived in D-Town from 4th grade on, I regard it as my hometown. My parents chose DeSoto because it was a growing, quaint community with highly rated schools. We also had some family friends there who helped tip the scale (the Brands). For the most part, I don’t think I could’ve had a better childhood/adolescence anywhere else. DeSoto was a great little town where we went to a great church and I had a great group of friends. Great.

So what are things like now in DeSoto? Um, different. Not all in a bad way though. After all, there’s a retail explosion happening in next-door-neighbor, Cedar Hill, so you don’t have to travel all the way to Arlington or (heaven forbid) Redbird to buy some clothes. The local Arby’s is now a Starbucks. The community is growing too. There are easily twice as many homes in DeSoto than when I first moved there. Friday I decided to cruise through my old neigborhood and I got lost. I got lost because there are about three-times as many homes and streets in that neighborhood now. When I finally navigated out of the subdivision, I decided to drive by the high school. DHS has gone through quite a few changes as well, obviously due to the growing community. The football stadium has gone through a major renovation now featuring an upper and lower deck on the home side. The’ve also tacked on some other buildings that I couldn’t tell what they were.

Now I could take some time here to complain about the changes that, in my opinion, are not so good. I could make jokes about the “different demographics” of the community. I could make cynical remarks about my old church and how (I assume) they do things there. I could hate on the fact that all my favorite food spots are now either out of business or moved somewhere else. In fact, when I began this post, I fully intended on going through several humorous bits that I’ve previously prepared. But in writing this, I think it just adds up to the fact that DeSoto is different than whay it used to be and I don’t like that. I would like it a lot better if nothing changed at all and I could come back another ten years later and it could be exactly as I left it. Same Taco Bell, same Eagle Stadium, same HRBC.

I think I have a harder time with change than I think. I do think I handle it pretty well. Our move here hasn’t been easy, but it hasn’t wrecked my sense of belonging or anything. I wasn’t depressed after I visited DeSoto, either. Just apathetic. I decided that since things have changed there, I should just not care anymore. But the part I have trouble with is the part where I still do care. I care about my old church. I care about my old schools. I care about the community that I grew up in. Apathy has just covered that up in order to make my life easier. I often use apathy to soothe pain, hide emotion, and even out the rough spots in life.

So I guess all of this is to say that if I care about something, I should protect myself from apathy. Apathy tempts me because it promises peace. I tell myself that if I don’t care about something, that’s one less thing to bring me down. And honestly, I think apathy is healthy, just in certain moderation. I’m not doing myself any favors by caring if my hair is perfect or worrying about tomorrow. But it’s easy to get carried away for the sake of simplicity. I have to admit that life would have more simplicity if I didn’t care about anything. But it wouldn’t be much fun. How good can life be without passion, without love, or without investing interest? We’re made to care about things, just not everything. I know apathetic people and I know overly-concerned people. Few people can strike a good balance. So which are you?